When It’s All Too Heavy
Whatever you're carrying right now, I know it's heavy.
On top of the many things happening in each of our lives, world events over the last few years- and especially days- have chipped away at our energetic capacity. I know you're worn out.
My point isn't to focus on doom and gloom, but rather to acknowledge that IT'S NOT JUST YOU.
We forget that, as beings created with exceptionally robust energetic and emotional bodies, we experience a really wide range of emotion and energy. Sometimes within the same 10 minutes! And all while we craft a careful exterior that masks our inner world- ironically, so we can fit in. We deny that we have so very much happening on the inside, in order to appear calm/put together/capable/woke/whatever on the outside. We believe that a different appearance will increase our chances of being accepted, loved, or respected.
We wear masks because we’ve told ourselves that feeling all the feels is bad. We think, “I’m the only one who’s feeling so much, and that’s bad, so to fit in I’d better hide or ignore it,” effectively isolating ourselves from a common, very human experience. And an opportunity to connect is lost and we end up with just the opposite- isolation.
On top of that, we exhaust ourselves because wearing a mask costs huge amounts of energy. Our energetic reserve dwindles, but instead of recharging through energetic connection with one another, we decide our exhaustion is further proof that we’re broken/bad/not doing it right. And we feel even more alone.
We desperately crave connection and belonging-
we're actually neurologically hardwired to crave it- and yet we tend to downplay this thing that makes us most similar and most human and most connected. We're funny creatures that way.
You are NOT the only person who sometimes feels like it’s all too heavy. But don't forget that another thing we funny creatures tend to do is intensify the weight of the load for ourselves. We also love to carry stuff that isn’t even ours to carry. Sometimes we’re so busy with the heaviness of the load that we’ve never asked why we picked up so much in the first place.
If the price you're paying for carrying a load too heavy to bear alone is having less capacity for holding what actually is yours, what you truly can be responsible for, the price is too high.
And no, I'm not saying you shouldn't care about the things you care about. Or that feeling all the feels is wrong or bad. Just know that there are stories you've bought into subconsciously that drive you to care about the things you care about, to the degree that you care about them. It's just what we humans do. But when you realize how your mind works, you can also see how to use this to your advantage.
Feeling separate is just a story-
a fear- you've bought into. You believe it. But it’s not really True. It literally can’t be, because you are energetically connected to all of human consciousness, 24-7, whether you realize it or not. We communicate energetically and emotionally with one another all the time, completely separate from our use of verbal language. This happens in varying degrees perhaps, but you can't deny the connection (well, you could I guess, but then I'd put on my science hat and show you how we can literally measure the energetic exchange happening between all of us).
Anyway. We're all connected. Which means the load doesn't have to feel so heavy for each of us. The “weight” comes from our own minds. Which is why what seems heavy or impossible or painful to you may not feel the same to me. We might even share an experience, but feel and respond very differently. We perceive and filter our experience through the meaning we apply, through the things we believe about ourselves and the world around us. The emotion we feel is our very personal, internal reaction to the beliefs and thoughts we have about what’s happening. This emotional reaction comes from you, not not the experience itself.
But this is great news, because if the way we feel is solely generated internally, that means we can take dominion over it. If it were really true that “you” make me angry, I might have zero hope of ever feeling anything other than rage at every moment.
We can- and must- choose to take radical responsibility for our inner world to have any hope of changing our outer world.
When you wake up to the very human tendency to deeply believe and never question your own stories, you can consciously become a better storyteller. “I feel anxious sometimes so that means I'm a mess and I'll never get it together and no one likes me and I'll feel alone forever” is just a story you believe. But maybe you question it and see that it’s not truth. You might change the story: “I feel anxious sometimes because I'm a human being MEANT to experience anxiety sometimes- it doesn't mean anything about me, it's just a part of who we all are.”
The second story better is so much better, isn’t it? Anxiety not meaning as much allows you to simply accept that it happens.
That acceptance reduces the mental focus you place on the phenomenon of anxiety, altering the emotional experience of it through your neurobiology. The quality of the emotion becomes less “sticky.” Anxiety can then come and go from your experience without building up to extreme levels. You're less attached to it, less reactive. Which means you can free up the energetic capacity that had been bogged down by attending to all that never-ending thinking about what having anxiety meant. That freed-up energetic capacity can then be applied it to something more helpful. And just like that: you're un-stuck.
It's a practice. You won't be perfect at it, guaranteed. But you can learn to shift your inner world response, no matter what the outer world circumstances are. You don't need to find a remote island away from all human interaction to be less afraid of what's happening in the world. Instead, you can adjust your internal response to it.
Each of us can be in the world, in a deeply connected and caring way- without feeling the weight of the world.
When you catch yourself believing that it’s all too heavy and that you have to carry it all yourself, simply remind yourself that it’s not true.
Place a hand over your heart. Take a deep breath. And “see” the energy flowing from you, out to all of humanity. And “see” the energy returning to you from the collective. Breathe. Feel. BE the interconnected being you are, even if it’s for just a few breaths.
Then, repeat as needed. Remember who you are. Be who you are. It really starts that simply.
Yes, look around you. Care about others. Care about the world. Do good in it if you can. But remember that the very best thing you can do for everyone else is to master your inner world and then hold space for others to master theirs. Because only then can the collective consciousness rise.
