What Is Alignment?

I talk about “alignment” a lot. Let’s define it so you can master it.

Alignment is when ALL of you is in agreement about what you're doing. When your thoughts, words, actions, emotions and energy are all saying the same thing, you’re aligned. With alignment, time seems to fall away and what to do or say is no longer an uphill battle or agonizing decision process- just a thing that’s unfolding exactly as it should. How and who you’re being feels clear and easy.

You’ve definitely experienced alignment

…but maybe you called it being in the right place at the right time or just feeling really good vibes that day or even plain old luck.

It’s easier to recognize the times you were clearly out of alignment. Like when you went along with your friends to shoplift when you were a teenager but *knew* deep in your gut that it was wrong. Or when you reeeeally wanted that new job to work out but every time you walked into the office, you felt tense and tight even though you smiled and acted happy and comfortable. Or, when you kept dating that guy who checked a lot of boxes- out of fear of being alone- even though you knew he wasn’t right for you. Or when you told your partner you were all-in on the relationship, while you kept scrolling dating apps or social media stalking your ex.

Alignment is when the external self you present to the world is an extension of your internal state.

It’s integrity, first with self and then with others. Ultimately, it’s something only you can truly determine for yourself, because it’s not only defined by how you look and act externally. It’s also defined by how you’re being internally. Misalignment is felt.

On the other hand, it’s also important to observe the blatant, external misalignment that presents. It’s easier to see this in others. If someone gives you a verbal commitment, but never follows their words up with the promised action, or even acts in a way that reflects something completely different than what they said, that’s misalignment. It's your responsibility to decide whether or not you’re okay with the discrepancy, because allowing it is energetically the same as choosing it- they’re both self-betrayals.

Spotting your own misalignment can be a bit more challenging. It requires nonjudgmental self-awareness, healing from the conditioning and programming you may be mostly unaware of, and discipline and mastery to self-correct.

Do you tell yourself that you’ve got an amazing best friend but feel your stomach knot up every time it gets back to you how they gossip about you, sharing private parts of your story- while you allow the relationship to continue un-checked? Sure, you could point your finger at what your “friend” is doing wrong. But you’d be missing the opportunity to uplevel yourself, the relationship, and your experience. YOU are misaligned in continuing to allow and invest in a relationship that doesn’t honor you or support you. Aligning yourself with something that hurts you never works out well.

The only thing you have control in changing is you

…but when you fail to detach from what harms, you are choosing what doesn’t align with you over and over again. It’s the energetic act of making space for exactly what you don’t want- and what you make space for is what you’ll attract. Allowing, looking the other way, downplaying, sugarcoating… these are all ways we attempt to fool ourselves into not taking responsibility for our own lack of alignment.

We energetically sabotage when we’re not in integrity with self.

Aligning- physically, psychologically, emotionally, spiritually, energetically- with what serves us is the life lesson.

So what happens if you miss the lesson?

When we’re chronically out of alignment, the universe will bring opportunity after opportunity to learn the lesson- and the more we miss or refuse those opportunities, the larger and more painful the lessons will become. Feeling “stuck” or finding yourself in the same situations over and over again is a sign that your alignment needs some work.

A lack of alignment is clear when you agonize over decisions and poll ten people about what they think you should do and procrastinate or avoid moving forward. When you recognize that in yourself, you can then correct it- by healing limiting beliefs, unprocessed emotions, and energetic blocks- so what to think, do, and say is a clear extension of you in your most aligned state. Knowing what to do next is easy because all it requires is matching your words and actions to your thought, emotion, and energy.

Self-mastery becomes a state of energetic flow when you learn the art of alignment.

So make it easy on yourself. Observe where challenges seem to repeat in your life and meet your misalignment head-on.