Is It Self-Discipline Or Self-Control?

Ever struggled with self-discipline?

Maybe you've been unable to stay on track or follow-through on a plan as you intended. You even put together a “fool-proof” strategy to achieve a goal, but somehow couldn't stay on track despite your best intentions.

Or maybe it's the reverse- you over-controlled until it became your entire focus and got far too rigid. Even if you actually achieved what you wanted, it cost far too much {in stress or even self-hatred}.

So what's really happening here?

Yes, self-discipline is an important aspect of making progress toward the things we desire. It seems like it's a simple formula, right? Just figure out a better plan or get more strict with yourself and voila! it should all work out.

So why doesn't it work out like you think it should?

What's really happening isn't about strategies or strict rules at all.

IT’S ABOUT TRUST.

Challenges with self-discipline reflect a highly-reactive and unconsciously desperate, fear-based way of trying to use external means to control the internal desire. Why?

Because the work hasn't been done to master true self-discipline and all your efforts have instead been going toward SELF-CONTROL.

Healthy self-discipline comes from TRUST of self. Unhealthy self-control comes from lack or FEAR of trusting self.

When you really trust that you're worthy of having and pursuing what you most deeply desire, you also trust in the vision you hold for your life. Which means you're able to become the version of self who can attract that vision into your present and hold it with ease.

The trust isn't in what you're DOING. It's in who you're BEING. All the stringent tactics and rigid routines sure make it feel like you’re doing a lot, right? But once you slow down and reflect on the relationship with yourself- who and how you're being- you get to the good stuff. 

Self-discipline {LOVE} is the OPPOSITE energetic vibration of control {FEAR}.

Healthy self-discipline comes from the vibration of love. When you do the inner healing work to truly love yourself, you deeply believe you're inherently worthy of that love and can always trust yourself to do what's right for you. You need less external control through the rigid rules.

The energy it comes from is what makes discipline become HONORING, not PUNISHING.

Unhealthy discipline isn't actually real self-discipline at all. It’s control being labeled as discipline.

It comes from the vibration of fear- of what it might mean about or for you NOT to be disciplined… to NOT to get the result you desire.

Adhering to the strict rules is an attempt to rig the game- to externally control in order to internally receive the love, respect, or acceptance you really desire from winning.

Even though it looks like all that control is working superficially, it costs you far too much, isn't sustainable, and will fail in the long run.

Healing the relationship with self has to come before implementing rules and regimens can actually work. 

This is about far more than basic goal-setting and achievement. It's an invitation to look deeper and heal the relationship with self.

Getting underneath the reasons you've adopted methods to self-control versus self-discipline can change all of this for good.

Because you have to trust that you'll always do what's self-honoring more than you fear what could happen if you don't win.

And doesn't it sound better to pursue the life you envision for yourself in love- not fear? Yep. Way better.